It is indeed difficult to forgive someone who has caused you grief or pain. You may be kind and courteous towards people in general – but the difficulty (and reward) lies in forgiving them when they have hurt you. It is when someone wrongs you or breaches your rights that your commitment to practicing mercy – and inviting Allah’s mercy in return – is truly tested. The Qur’an recognizes this fact, saying:

“And whoever is patient and forgives – indeed, that is of the matters [worthy] of resolve.” (Al-Shura 42:43)

The Encouragement to Forgive

For this reason, Islam does not force us to forgive others. In case of a legal offence, we are entitled to seek remedy or damages for the harm we have suffered and to pursue all avenues of justice. Where the offence is of such a nature that it can be reciprocated, we are generally permitted to mete out the same treatment as we have suffered. However, the Qur’an greatly encourages us to forgive:

“And the retribution for an evil act is an evil one like it, but whoever pardons and makes reconciliation – his reward is [due] from Allah. Indeed, He does not like wrongdoers.” (Al-Shura 42:40)

Despite making retaliation permissible and acknowledging the difficulty associated with forgiving, the Qur’an urges the believers to reconcile and to “forgive with gracious forgiveness” (Al-Hijr 15:85) as that is the best course of action.

Benefits of Forgiving Others

Forgiving others allows us to attain peace of mind and cleanse our heart. It enables us to let go of the past and look progressively to the future. It frees us from the burden of self-pity and the forced obligation of carrying grudges. Most importantly, it entitles us to Allah’s forgiveness for our own sins:

“If you show [some] good or conceal it or pardon an offence – indeed, Allah is ever Pardoning and Competent.” (Al-Nisa 4:149)

Allah has further promised a garden in Paradise as wide as the heavens and earth for the people among whose desirable qualities are that they “restrain anger” and “pardon the people” (Ale Imran 3:133-134).

Another reward for pardoning others is that Allah increases such a person in honour, as the Prophet ﷺ said:

“No one forgives, but Allah increases him in honour, and no one humbles himself before Allah but Allah raises him in status.” (Muslim 2,588)

The one who forgives earns the respect of other people; they have a high regard for such an individual and hold them in great esteem. However, the real honour shall be bestowed upon them by Allah on the Day of Judgement, as indicated in the above hadith.

Putting up with People’s Annoyance

If you interact with people in the ordinary course of your day – as most of us do – you are bound to feel wronged or annoyed by them at times. However, patiently putting up with people, instead of shutting them out completely and leading a lonely existence, actually makes you a better believer, as the Prophet ﷺ said:

“The believer who mixes with people and bears their annoyance with patience will have a greater reward than the believer who does not mix with people and does not put up with their annoyance.” (Ibn Majah 4,032 – Sahih)

The Two Scenarios

Sometimes, the offender escapes justice and does not feel remorse for the loss they have caused you, leaving you powerless to seek retribution or hold them accountable. In such cases, it is still desirable to forgive the offender in your heart, not for their sake, but because there is no point in carrying a grudge that will only weigh you down. It is better to simply move on and not let someone who is not worthy of your negative feelings affect your life.

Then there are occasions when you actually have the power to inflict revenge upon someone who has wronged you. This is exactly when practising forgiveness entitles you to the highest degree of Allah’s reward and mercy. If you forgive someone for the sake of Allah, He may forgive some of your sins in return, as evidenced by the following incident.

The Slander Incident

During the time of the Prophet ﷺ, a vicious slander was initiated against his beloved wife, Aisha, the daughter of Abu Bakr. Among those who spread the rumour was Mistah Ibn Uthatha, a poor emigrant from Makkah who was a cousin of Abu Bakr, and was financially supported by him. After the allegation was proved false, Abu Bakr swore that he would never provide financial assistance to Mistah again due to his prominent role in the slander. Thereafter, Allah revealed the following verse in this regard:

“And let not those of virtue among you and wealth swear not to give [aid] to their relatives and the needy and the emigrants for the cause of Allah, and let them pardon and overlook. Would you not like that Allah should forgive you? And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.” (Al-Nur 24:22)

This verse, though general in nature, was directed at Abu Bakr in particular. Despite the gravity of the sin committed against his daughter, Abu Bakr was urged to “pardon and overlook” – would he not like Allah to forgive his own sins in return? Abu Bakr obliged, saying, “Yes, by Allah, I do love that Allah should forgive me,” (Bukhari 4,757) and restored his financial assistance for Mistah.

Conclusion

It is indeed wise to follow the example of Abu Bakr, and forgive others simply because we want Allah to forgive our sins and raise us in status in return. Remember this beautiful piece of advice that the Qur’an has for us:

“And not equal are the good deed and the bad. Repel [evil] by that [deed] which is better; and thereupon, the one whom between you and him is enmity [will become] as though he was a devoted friend. (Fussilat 41:34)

This article is an excerpt from the book His Mercy is Vast: A Practical Guide to Seeking Allah’s Forgiveness available for purchase globally.