The content of this article has been adapted from the Porn Addiction YouTube Series by Raja Zia ul Haq.

Let’s discuss some of the steps to overcoming porn addiction that require you to engage with others to establish better social connection. While this may require you to leave your comfort zone, it is ultimately beneficial, probably beyond your expectation.

1) Avoid Being Alone Excessively

The more you stay alone, the more likely you are to fall prey to porn. As they say, the lone sheep is easily caught by the wolf! Similarly, the lone person can easily be trapped by Satan.

So, try to be in the company of your loved ones and others who are a positive influence on you. When you are alone, engage in meaningful activities that are a source of both growth and enjoyment for you.

Design your routine in such a way that you do not have time for porn on a typical day. Challenge yourself to utilize your day productively, with few idle moments. Take the example of a young person who, in addition to completing his daily chores and offering the obligatory salat, follows this routine during weekdays:

  • Goes to college or university in the morning and returns home in the late afternoon.
  • Plays a sport in the evening, goes to the gym, or does some basic workout at home.
  • Spends some time with his family before dinner.
  • Devotes some time to self-development at night, such as reading a book, acquiring a new skill, or engaging in a spiritual pursuit.

By the time this person settles down in bed later at night, he is definitely exhausted! He just wants some quality sleep rather than wanting to think about porn.

2) Change Your Company

An effective means to coming out of any addiction is to change one’s environment – which is largely shaped by our friends. But who are actually our friends? They are those individuals we spend time with, hang out with, and consult and seek advice from.

If spending time with your friends takes you towards porn, rather than away from it, then overcoming this addiction will be very difficult for you. So, do take your environment seriously, and take care not to be negatively influenced by those around you. Allah says in the Quran:

“…Do not obey one whose heart We have made heedless of Our remembrance and who follows his desire and whose affair is ever [in] neglect.” (Al-Kahf 18:28)

Someone who neglects these three traits – remembering Allah often, curtailing unlawful desires, and being mindful of one’s affairs – is not likely to be a beneficial friend. If we obey such a person or keep their company, we are likely to be fall into error just like them. Allah further informs us in the Quran:

“O you who have believed, fear Allah and be with those who are true.” (Al-Taubah 9:119)

Here, the command is not to obey such people, but to merely be with them. The implication is to be in the company of such righteous and authentic individuals which shows the immense impact that our friends have on us.

The Prophet ﷺ compared a good and a bad friend as follows:

“The example of a good companion in comparison with a bad one is like that of the musk seller and the blacksmith’s bellows (or furnace); from the first you would either buy musk or enjoy its good smell while the bellows would either burn your clothes or your house, or you get a bad nasty smell thereof.” (Bukhari 2,101)

According to Imam Al-Ghazali, a bad friend is worse than a poisonous snake, and even worse than Satan: worse than a snake because its bite can take your worldly life at most while the bad friend can land you in Hell forever; and worse than Satan who merely urges you to commit wrong whereas the bad friend practically takes you towards falsehood. In other words, Satan merely advises while a bad friend gives you an end-to-end solution!

3) Confide in Someone

Talk to someone about your situation. You might be wondering why that is important, especially when Islam encourages us to conceal our sins. Indeed, one should refrain from publicly announcing the addiction or putting up a social media post asking just about anyone for help!

However, it makes sense to confide about our addiction in someone trustworthy who can genuinely help us, such as a life coach, counsellor, or psychologist. It can also be a close friend or family member whom you trust under all circumstances. Talking to one such person lessens some of the burden we are carrying and enables us to obtain help without being judged for developing this addiction.

It’s also a good idea to keep this person updated about your progress in overcoming porn addiction. This establishes accountability, and motivates you to keep pursuing this path with encouragement from your confidante. If you slip once, they can help you get back on your feet. They may also be able to share some wisdom to help you overcome porn addiction.

4) Fulfill Your Desires through Lawful Means

Allah has not forbidden us from fulfilling our lawful sexual desires, but only stipulated that we fulfill them through nikah. That is why Islam encourages us to marry at an early age, provided that one is financially capable and mature enough to shoulder the responsibilities of married life. The Prophet ﷺ declared:

“…Marriage is part of my sunnah, and whoever does not follow my sunnah has nothing to do with me.” (Ibn Majah 1,846 – Hasan)

The Prophet ﷺ emphasized marriage as a tool against sexual immorality which establishes marriage as a healthy and desirable alternative to watching pornography and masturbating:

“O young men, those among you who can support a wife should marry, for it restrains eyes from casting (unlawful glances) and preserves one from immorality; but those who cannot should devote themselves to fasting for it is a means of controlling sexual desire.” (Muslim 1,400a)

It is important to realize, however, that marriage cannot serve as a magical solution to porn addiction. Young people are often casual about their porn addiction, believing that it will automatically disappear once they marry. While marriage may be an effective form of prevention against porn addiction, it may not be a cure for it. You have to quit the addiction before you get married.

A person’s behavior and habits often get affected by porn addiction to such an extent that it greatly harms his personality. Instead of being able to sort things out after marriage, such a person typically sees his family life greatly suffer, and eventually disintegrate, due to his addiction. In fact, porn addiction is an increasingly common destroyer of marriages as many people remain addicted to it even in the presence of a spouse.

This article is an extract from the e-book titled “Breaking the Chains: An Islamic Guide to Overcoming Porn Addiction”. Click on the image below to download this e-book for free!